A tough year but still fighting

What do you do when you’ve been playing rugby since you were a barefoot four years old and you’re suddenly struck down with a career threatening injury? That was the dilemma that faced Tony Dowling just before the 2001 Cup Final when he suffered a complete rupture of the anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee.

Just a few weeks before the final Tony was thoroughly enjoying the preparation and, confident of his place in the starting XV. He was involved in a warm up game against Edinburgh Academicals. He takes up the story himself.

“It was an 8 – 9 – 11 move and Dougie Roberts, who was playing half, drifted a bit wider. My man stayed out so I went to change the angle and come on a short ball. I tried to go through the gap and as I stepped my foot slipped about 6 inches. When it gripped I was in the wrong position and instead of my ankle rolling or anything my knee just snapped outwards. As I fell I flung myself to get out of it and it clicked back in”.

He knew instantly it was serious and Tony admitted “It was just the worst feeling I’ve ever had in my life”. Even so, in the immediate aftermath there was still hope that he may yet turn out at Murrayfield.

Tony spoke of the situation “That was the hard thing – I wasn’t completely sure, but I can’t blame the doctors. The knee stayed quite tight and the doctor thought maybe I’d stretched it but it was not too bad. The first question was obviously about the Cup Final and I was told ‘take it slowly but it should be OK’. That was probably even more gutting because it was a little bit of hope, there seemed to be a slight chance, but obviously there wasn’t”.

The final confirmation came just ten days before the big event when, working for Peter Knight in his bar, Tony stepped down off a stool and the knee collapsed again. Having caused havoc behind the bar as he crashed to the floor Tony knew that all hope was over. There was another practice game that night and Tony turned up to tell Sean Lineen the bad news. But it wasn’t just Sean he wanted to inform. He went straight to Mark Murray who was waiting to know whether or not he would get the chance to replace Tony in the biggest match of his career. Again Tony takes up the story.

“As soon as I’d told Sean I went and told Mark, straight away, before Sean even had a chance, because it was a horrible time for him to be floating around and thinking ‘am I going to be playing, am I not going to be playing’. It’s a time when you just want to get focussed and settle down, get into the training and enjoy it. I went and saw him before the game started and just said to him ‘you’ll be starting – I’m out – so just relax and enjoy yourself’ and he was really, really appreciative. That was something I wanted to do. Mark’s a quality boy and I wished him well. I was jumping up and down as much as anybody else when he scored at Murrayfield.

But rugby life for Tony has been about much more than that one memory. He even admitted that coming on as a substitute in the previous year’s Cup Final helped him deal with the problem “I think if I hadn’t of played the year before, even as a sub getting on for less than 20 minutes, I would have been devastated, absolutely devastated, but it did make it a bit easier knowing that I’d been there and had done it.

Tony started life 25 years ago in the kiwi fruit growing town of Te Puke, New Zealand. He played his first rugby as a tender four years old but, like all his contemporaries, he didn’t get his first pair of boots for more than four years. It was part of a toughening up process that has stood him in good stead throughout his life.

“We used to walk up and down the lines because the lines were marked with oil and the rest of the ground would be frost. So we used to walk up and down the lines to keep our feet warm. I’ll never forget those days” Tony told me. “I’ve still got mates, two or three guys I played rugby with at that age, living in London, and I see them all the time”.

Friendship and competition are the two big things about rugby for Tony. He spoke of guys he’s met for just a few days on 7s tours that he made lasting friendships with and had plenty of praise for the crowd at Meggetland. He also spoke of the competitive element. In Te Puke there was just one Under18 but three clubs. Losing to a rival club was no fun back in Under18 as the victors ruled the roost until there was a chance for revenge.

As part of his happy upbringing Tony spent 6 months at an adventure Under18s in his early teens. Four days of normal Under18ing was followed by a weekend of activities like kayaking, rock climbing and abseiling. And other aspects of life could be tough “If you left your window unlocked at night they just unbolted it. And it was minus four or five degrees outside and you didn’t have a window. The nights I’ve slept in three or four layers of clothing and a sleeping bag as well as my duvet – it was great”. He also told me that “If you wanted a hot shower you had to get up at 5 O’clock in the morning and light the fire to  heat the water. On many days the water in the toilet was frozen solid”. Tony acknowledged that this was a great part of the process of growing up that helped him mature quickly.

Despite his exuberant personality Tony doesn’t do too much by chance. He didn’t end up in Edinburgh by chance either. Brother Shane had played for Haddington and during a break back home told Tony how good Edinburgh was. “He thought it was a good idea for me to travel, to get on with my life, to get away from Mummy and Daddy. He was playing for Haddington and living in Edinburgh and he said it was a really good place to come. That was where the idea came from”.

And life was good in Edinburgh until that fateful evening on 10^th April 2001 when his rugby world fell apart. And it’s been a long haul back to fitness that he freely admits he may not have made if it hadn’t been for the support of the club, fellow players, club members and especially girlfriend Mhairi.

“If it hadn’t been for my girlfriend Mhairi I probably would have seriously thought about returning to New Zealand. Maybe not permanently but for time to recover with my knee then maybe coming back after another six months or a year”. He also acknowledged other contributions, saying “When I first had the operation the club looked after me. They gave outstanding help above all recognition because I couldn’t get a job and it was a very, very difficult time for me financially. The club has been very, very supportive of me as they have been for the whole 2½ to 3 years that I’ve been here”. Also, “It was good to have guys in the club like Neil Dickson and Graeme Kiddie who’ve had the same injury. It was good to come down and talk to them, especially Neil who was brilliant just to talk to about different things – so it was good to be involved. All the boys would come up and talk to me and ask how I’ve been and stuff like that. It’s a great club”.

He went further “Andy Knight was brilliant. I was living with him and he’d been through the same sort of problems with his groin. The day he came of crutches I went on to them so we had a good year and a half of having crutches in the flat. Cunzie’s been good to me too. Always encouraging and always asking how I was getting on. It was good to come down to the club and see all the people in the club – players and members alike – it was good to get the support – it was really good – I knew if I hung around that would happen and that’s why I stuck with the club – it’s been good”.

Tony wouldn’t let me finish the interview without talking about his operation. “It was a horrible thing. I had to be there at 7:30 in the morning with the operation at 9. By lunchtime I was back in my room and I was back in my flat at 5 O’clock the same day”.

Foolishly, I asked what the operation had entailed and Tony enthusiastically went into graphic detail “What they do is make a major cut just below the knee and another cut to the side. Then they put a bar up inside and took a strand out of my hamstring. A nip at the top, a nip at the bottom, then they grabbed onto it with a pair of claws and ripped it out. They doubled it over and connected it to the ligament at the top. Then they drilled a hole in my tibia and fibia and threaded it through the bone to help it strengthen so it wouldn’t snap again. Then they did me up with 12 staples. I had a few other little holes. Keyholes where they tidied up cartilage and stuff – but you can’t even see the scars now”. Was that regret I heard in his voice?

And after more than a year of recuperation, with all the ups and downs that entailed, Tony has finally made it back to training. He’s been working hard with the squad through pre-season fitness training and admits he may expect “too much” from the coming season. Realistically he wants to get into the 2^nd XV and hopes to progress to the bench for the 1^st team. Maybe he can get a chance to start. He doesn’t want to set his expectations too high, but not too low either. He commented “The year off has given me a whole new appreciation – it really has – I can’t wait to get into it. I think I’ve got (dare I say) a little bit harder”. But he’s trying to keep his perspective. “Boroughmuir 2^nd XV is a proven side. They’re probably good enough to play in the 2^nd or 3^rd division of the senior league – so to play with those guys is definitely an aim. If all goes well eventually it’d be great to pick up a contract somewhere but I think realistically I want to get back into it this year then try and push next season - see how it goes from there.

However it goes for Tony, no matter what level he reaches and what he achieves he will always be a valuable member of the Meggetland scene. Liked and appreciated by everyone at the club we can only admire the strength of character that see seen him overcome the only major injury of his career and keep a smile on his face. And by the way – thanks Mhairi for keeping him here.

Mark Furnivall